peaks and valleys

Hello old friend. It has been a very long time since we've talked. How are you? Well it has been ages since I've written in this thing and life has changed as much as it would in a 5 month period. Family life is iffy and my personal life is non existent due to work, but all in all everything is good. It's winter time and I honestly cant believe what our Christmas' are boiling down to. These are the weird years I'm guessing and I think it's about time to start having Christmas' abroad. None of us have kids to buy presents for and none of us really know what to give each other nowadays. Maybe a destination Christmas is what we need. What do people do for Christmas? I know most spend it around family and loved ones but it seems anytime we get down to this season our family gets busier and busier with other things, especially this year I was already over Christmas before it even it even got here. I really hate that. I use to look forward to Christmas so much as a kid and now it seems like every other holiday. There needs to be a shake up in my life or in our lives. We all complain about the lack of adventure we all have, mostly as a family because all of us kids do what we want and have our adventures but honestly we haven't had a great family vacation. I feel like we need a retreat to move forward in our lives, new memories to make and new experiences that will make our lives richer. We want to do this but it's so hard with all our schedules to find time for it because ever since we where younger we never did anything without the other. I love my brothers and I love the times I spend with them. Sometimes I wish the time we spend together are a bit more productive but I honestly love them. We've gone through shitty times and hopefully this valley can soon climb up to a peak again and get us back to where I love us to be. Happy. I'm really glad to talk to you old friend, you always make me feel better and hopefully now I can write in you more often but who knows. Until we cross paths again.... hope.

drop top

So I've been lost for the last few weeks and I always say I'm going to try harder to keep up with my blog. But lets face it I may be addicted to my computer but not really addicted to work. haha But anyways it has been awhile since I've shared my thoughts on different things and there are tooo many things to bring up and explain without this being a novel. People are entering my life and leaving it as if it was a supermarket. Some I could care less for and other I do truly miss. But if you are reading this and thinking any of this is about you, you are vain as fuck. Anyways, I've have a lot of time to just sit around and think, maybe it be while I'm washing my car or working, nothing lately has needed any brain power to actually do so my mind wonders and starts thinking about all these different things. Am I wasting my life staying here in Arvin not exploring more of the world or even trying to move on.... Was my car the greatest choice for right now.... Do I really want to go to Italy or is it just for him.... My life is very secretive and yet open. I post like any other young adult what I'm constantly doing on the social networks and not really leaving anything for mystery... or am I? Last night after have a weird and awkward conversation with a friends coworker that I'm kinda going after but reconsidering... I don't know what to think about people addicted to drugs. Some seem so normal but when they flip over to their other side man its like day and night. But anyways when more develops I'll let you know. But after that I put down my rag top and drove home. It was a clear night the wind was blowing earlier so it cleared out all the smog. Moon wasn't out yet but all i could see is stars. I'm a big sucker for two things: acoustic guitars and midnight drives. Feeling the wind in my hair and feeling the cool air, looking up at the stars it was pretty magical. I love these kind of nights where the heat is gone and its peaceful. But now to finishing what I really need to do. Til next time........... italian stallion.

depression.

sweeeeeeeet depression. how we've not crossed paths in awhile. hello friend. welcome back. this occassion is brought on by work. thank you for bring something back that i have not missed. yes, i have been feeling him coming for a few weeks now slowly slowy making it apparent you are here. i guess we rushed arrival today by hearing some news i was not really ready for. i thought he had my back and im a great enough worker to recieve what i deserve......but, i guess not. no vegas weekend for me. no drinks by the pool, no family fun, no gambling, no shopping, no nothing... just when i was going to lose your number change addresses everything fails and you come back to me. depression. hopefully something will get me out of this beginning summer funk. maybe a new job is in order. whatever. i guess ill just sit here and see whats new with you. til pigs fly........ fosho.

Lazy Bones

So lately I've been saying I have no time to myself when I actually do have tons of time to myself. Yesterday I was suppose to work, I didn't know, they called me a few times then I decided to pick up the phone and they told me to come in. Well I told her my situation about how the carpet guy was coming and I really couldn't go in, so yeah I had the day off. Yesterday was my catch up on me day. I plucked my eye brows painted my nails, dyed my streak red again after it was orange for like weeks, clipped my nails etc. little things that take time to do and you usually put it off until you can actually take the time and do them. My eyebrows where scary, and it was only realized when i finished one and looked at the other, plus all the stray hairs on my shirt after just finishing one. Anyways it was great just being around myself. I got ready for a concert me and my brothers friends where going to and I took my time thinking this kid I had a night with was going but ended up being some other friend so yeah it was kind of lame but the concert was great. Today and Tomorrow are my days off and I'm going to do a few productive things like teach my best friend how to drive because honestly its about time she knows, prep for my weekend deliveries since I have one huge order and a really tiny one haha :) finish cleaning my room which keeps getting pushed back since its really never on the top of my priority list. I really need to hit the gym since my lazy bones hasn't made an appearance there in over two weeks because of Lore F's parents being out of town and us having fun and doing random crap but we need to buckle down and get back at it! The concert last night put me up at 4 concerts down on my 101 list which is great. Tim McGraw is excellent live and you really should go see him if you have a chance. I'm leaving you with videos of the bands a I saw yesterday enjoy :) until next time..... nice windy blue sky day.

Love and Theft - Opening Act

Lady A - Opening for Tim

Tim McGraw - Headliner 

cyclistic sleeping

so i've read different methods of sleeping and many people just do the 8 hours at night like normal mammals but I'm trying this other approach. cycle sleeping. you sleep a total of 8 hours but you only sleep 4 hours at a time. this method will hopefully let me have a night life again since i feel rested and i actually feel modivated. no matter how long you sleep it always takes a long time to get out of bed so i wont count that against my cycle. but i do feel modivated and actually productive which i already have said before. hopefully i keep at this. i have to work at 4am tomorrow since we are making gelatin for the week and ive yet to make it since ive been here. fun times. i still have a lot of work to do but its going fast. my brother is a being an ass because he wont bring me my stereo but eh... ill just keep singing alejandro :) hopfully we go to the gym today and catch up a bit.
okay break almost over, til the next.... double raised donuts.

subway inspiration

so I'm sitting here hanging out at lore's subway waiting for her to get off so maybe we can do something tonight and like i hate the fact i have money now and i dont have time to go out :( I work early as hell and that means im dead tired by 9! but hopefully i can get use to this cycle sleeping and ill be more productive and be able to do more things. ive been wanting to go drinking and partying for awhile. im a brand new 21 year old i need my fix! haha well hopefully me working these all these hours for the summer will pay off some how. I'm planning on buying a car since i will have some more income that im use to coming in so might as well put it towards something ive been wanting :) so im getting my sky roadster! im talking to the guy again and hopefully i will be able to see it soon. just need to find financing. but i will have a two seater convertable speed machine :) so yeah i
cant wait! me and lore i think are just going to get 40's and sit outside since it such a great night :)

Backyard Vacation, Perverted Vocalization

So I've recently fallen in love with my backyard again. My dad made a new patio and bought some furniture for it and it's been my favorite place to hang out. Right now the weather is really great slight breezes and the warm sun. UGH i love spring and summer. I really can't wait til its warm enough so we can go swimming and I can get fricken dark. I swear it's weird to think that some people really think I'm white. I don't have a hispanic accent which is usually a dead give away but I really don't understand how people really think I'm white. I have a weird vocabulary like the words I choose to use like: sweet sauce, weak, trick, etc... but I don't think that should have any deciding factors on my race. eh. whatevs. Here is an example my brothers and I went out to a hookah lounge with a bunch of friends. Well my friend yaqui brought a friend that was very "sweet" (as my professor would say) and for you idiots out there, gay. Well I fell in love with him because I really like gay guys and I love talking dirty with them about other dudes. And If you don't know me I'm a real perv, and I swear I get it from my mom because she's really bad too. And I really don't realize who I'm talking dirty in front of and, yeah... my brothers are convince I'm a huge slut, but my business is my business so whatevs. ANYWHO, me and this kid kept talking and talking I swear we where the only ones talking since everyone was super quiet and uncomfortable because that kid was "sweet" but yeah, we got to the end of this get together because me and my crew where ready to leave and the guy comes and give us a check and he's all give it to the mexican and I was like I'm hispanic too... He like REALLY? I really dont think it was that hard to not tell I'm not hispanic. But eh... Thats how I roll.  Summer is going to be great. Can't wait for my last final to roll around and I can start singing, School's out for summa! haha. I need to get my life organized and put my business on my top proirities this summer because seriously I feel I'm going to lose out if I dont get my life situated. So now to clean my room! Til the next post... nail clippings.

-fo sho

into the ocean with you.

Today has been a great day :) This week has been a roller coaster like most weeks lately but over i really do feel happy. Saturday I got a text saying we got some free tickets to a dodger game so me brobee franky and bff went to the game and had some fun :) Dodgers took it of course, well not of course because they are up and down as much as my moods, but anyways it was just a great experience hanging out at the game and seeing my best friend that I haven't seen since january! But of course we never have that awkwardness of not seeing each other and just jump in where we last left off. That night was great but next morning really wasn't. I had to be at work at 5am so yeah I had some serious lack of sleep but it was a good day at work. This week was the last week of instruction which was great but seriously lame because 75% of my classes where doing presentations. So of course the girl that has to be doing something when shes bored, i drew. I had a few songs stuck in my head and of course its "off the map" from alkaline trio, still!!! wtf i dont know why i can't get sick of that song! anyways another song was "watching airplanes" by gary allen and like two songs are constantly on my mind and since i had nothing better to draw i tried to interpret the songs into my sketch. They came out decent but I'm not a real great drawer so it was pretty weak but whatevs. BUT you need to check out this kid Jon Contino (www.joncontino.com) he's really good and exactly what i love in art. I love nautical anything and i think thats why I'm in love with "off the map" I really cant wait til I find something amazing so I can put it on my body. Okay enough with that. So today someone told me "i cant figure you out" and honestly I couldnt figure myself out and i've known myself for many, many years. This small question got me pondering on what I truly believe in every aspect of life. I am this strong willed "women" that gets and works for what she wants. Conservative to a point but some issues i may side different. I love art and any form of art: music, paintings, cake, design.... I love technology, I love nature. Meditation and serenity is a huge part of me. Balance is key to any life. Family i hold close and also my friends. It's weird how a small question can make you ponder so long. I would keep going on and on but I have a date with my bike and friend. Time to load up my dyke* truck and head off to the sunset.  Til my next post, stained zebra carpet.....

fosho

*i call it my dyke truck because it has a "i brake for beavers" sticker on the back but I'm all for dudes. I heart weewees too much to go lez. haha :)

happyness...

I know it's spelt wrong, but it was meant to be like the movie. Happiness means different things to people. For one, I think total happiness is being please with who you've become and not being in any sense of ugly to people. I personally find happiness in the most random of things. I've work at the new store for like a week now and twice have they caught me off guard. Someone keeps the same mundane thing they do everyday and puts some fun into it. We sell "conchas" which are "shells" in English and they are these shell looking sweet bread with pastel frosting, well anyways they usually range in size from XL which are probably 8" to our minis which are 3-4" well I was in the fridge texting and I was looking at this rack getting ready to grab some sheets and I noticed this quarter size concha and immediately just felt really happy. Someone took the time and carefully crafted this perfect little shell. Another thing was today I was rinsing off some pastry bags and I was looking at some old cookies they where getting ready to throw away. I started looking at them and all of them where happy, one was even happier than the rest because he had a huge grin like so :D but another one caught my eye. It was a pissed off cookie. It was really awesome. I have a feeling that i know who is doing this but I've yet to find out officially. But with me it doesn't take a lot to make me happy. I wave hello, a fun conversation, hell even just a drive up to the cross laying in the back watching the stars and BSing about crap that has happened over the week. I don't need money to be happy. I'm friend rich. I know it may sound cheesy but honestly tis the truth. Now I think I'm going to take a nap on the hammock and enjoy the small breeze and the sound of the sprinkler. Til the next time....chocolate covered fried onions...

Vegas Vacation

So last week was a doozy but I got through it knowing at the end of the week I would be in the one place that makes me happy and awkward. Friday rolled around and I was up at 3am to get ready for work. Worked my 8 and got out of there with my cashed check in hand I was Vegas bound. I got home ran around the house grabbing anything I could think I needed for this 3 day aventure. Well it has been over 4 years that I've driven to Vegas on Friday and holy crap was their traffic, it didnt help that I went on a weekend that had a ton of activities going on in the town, but whatever! So I got there a bit late due to traffic so I met my friends at a bar for drinks and thank you spy on vegas for the free buzz. Spy on Vegas has these events around town and you get free drinks that they are sponsoring and this time it was patron shots and two different wines. You can see we where hanging around the patron table. All in all that night was a major fun. Went down to fremont to see Lady A and some of David Nail. Got drunk, danced, talked and danced with cowboys :) it was a great friday night. Drove back to Henderson and went to another pub and met some boys from a band got friendly with them and then 3 hit and i was passing out on the bar. I was so tired. Saturday morning I was HUNGover. Not the best feeling and since I dont drink often it was a killer. It wasnt as bad as my birthday hangover but it was up there. Ate brunch with casey, her dad, friend and nephew then went to a car show in Casey's sexy ass 53* ford truck (*i think thats the year) did some walking around. Got back home got ready again ate and went to see more shows. We saw Luke Bryan, he is amazing BTW, we got there just in time and Joey led us to this perfect spot we where just standing there and me be observant as usually i kept noticing these two girls trying to get into this special area. I kept my eye on that situation and was trying to see what was going to come of it. Sure enough the promoters where letting a few extra people in the VIP area. OMG like a few feet away from luke. Sure enough my smart ass looks at the lady and mouths "me too" and she asked me how many in my party and we all go in! OMG he is such a great performer :) after his amazing show we went to the other stage to see Miranda Lambert, not to be mean or put her down her show couldnt compare to what we experienced and since I'm not a huge fan it was kinda boring. A super drunk chick kept bumping into me and holding on to me, it got old quick. I was so scared she was going to blow chunks on me. Ended the night again at PT's had a few drinks and the bartender only charged me like $8. The next morning got up packed said my goodbyes. Went to meet up my buddy frank and kristen for brunch and had an amazing time catching up. The drive was a bitch but it was worth it. I miss Vegas and maybe I'll move back out there but I'm fine where I'm at right now. Just every now and then i need my little vegas vacation! :)

I'm sitting in the breakroom and how i wish i could just fall asleep in here. stupid creepers came to eat their lunches up here so I'm here stuck writing a post. working here is not that bad. first off im getting more hours which wasnt really a big concern. because i really dont have bills but eh. butt (<-yes that butt) im saving 100 bucks in gas :) woohoo. eh when summer comes around i can start working my 40 its going to be ballin :) btw im buying a projector so we can have movie showings outside, its going to be pretty pimp, i feel like a pimp. and that will be for sure one of the first movies i show! but i need to get cracking on watching classic movies like "casa blanca" "mice of men" random movies. they dont have to based off books i just cant think of any movies right now because my brain is shorting out. 130 is hopefully around the corner so i can just walk home strip down and
nap. then get up and go to the gym with lore. we need to have some girl time ;) hey! woah, woah! jk

Get off on the pain...

So there is no pain to get off on... I've just been listening to Gary Allen's song "get off on the pain" and I love it :) I've been actually really happy lately. I don't know why but I love it. I'm still stuck on the Alkaline Trio CD and I've probably been listening to that more than anything right now. The weather is so great right now, well more crazy than anything because one day it will 80's and the next 60 with gusts of winds in the 40mph area. We'll I dont care because i love randomness :) I haven't blogging because I'm "busy" with fictitious stuff but since i was stood up to go to the gym tonight I was thinking what better time to blog. I really dont have much on my mind these days, well maybe just stressing on huge presentation that surprising i left to the last minute to start and finish but either way they came out really great and I'm expecting really good marks on both presentations. We had a group presentation last week and holy crap did we bomb that. Some kid thought my group would do the best in the class and honestly we did the worse! I read the comments on our teachers page and I was the only one that got great remarks :) oh how I know how to fling bull crap and the teacher was there catching everything. OH btw I got to knock another thing off my list i took s'more cupcakes to class! and i dont remember what number that was but it was apart of my list :) woohoo. Ugh i feel like I dont have a life right now! work is consuming all my time, well that and school. thank goodness school is over in less than 3 weeks, i think its two? well whatever, regardless i still will not have a life! I will soon start working mornings so at 4am or 5 or 6! le boo. okay i'm fighting to stay away right now but I'll write in here tomorrow. I need to sleeeeeeeep. ttyl.

Anchors away...

Today I was driving to work and I had the CD Casey burned me when I was down in Vegas. It's called "This addiction" by Alkaline trio and holy crap I love this cd. I have some older stuff of A3 and I loved it too I don't understand why I dont have more of their stuff. Well I was stuck on the song "dine dine my darling" which is probably still my number one but today I let the cd play through and I feel in love with the song "off the map." It just a good song or not that it's a good song but I love the connection I have to that song/CD. It's pretty great. Maybe you should download it or listen to it here :) I think this song is making me want my tattoo more but i want it to say "so are you coming with me? anchors away...." it would be awesome around an old school navy anchor. Well whatever. I need to sleep work in the am. I hoping to post more tomorrow. I have some mixed feelings in me and I need to express them hopefully soon. peace and enjoy the video :)

-fo sho

no comp in class leads to poems

it kills me to hear how loney he is
it make me sore that i couldnt be there for him
the bars, the park, hell even the train station
i would be there to cure his lonely
little cabin out west could have been a grand idea
but your sister would have not been there
it kills you to see her cry and be sore
especially since you would be the one to be blamed for
i'd catch you off the cliff if you ran in the rye
this book about a kid has inspired my life

The Catcher in the Rye

I have no clue why I wanted to read 'the catcher of the rye' but I'm really glad I did. I had a great time reading it. I knew this kid once that I picture as Holden Caulfield and I guess that made me like it even more. I missed him. None of you know this kid, I met him randomly but he keeps a blog and his style of writing reminds me of Holden. Anyways... The story is about a kid thats 17, his parents are rich and he's sent off to prep school and he's been kicked out of four and he recently got kicked out of his fifth. He goes about his experiences and how crappy some of his life has been and then he goes on about this girl that made him really happy and his roommate had a date with her and Holden asked him how it went and he made it sound like he just banged her which made Holden very mad. Him and his roommate went at it and he decided to take off. He takes off to New York and has these weird experiences back to back. Well I really don't want to get into it. He gets very depressed in the book and go on this emotional roller coaster with him, the highs and lows of different situations. But all in all its a great read and I hope you pick it up one day. Well this is another one knocked off my list :)

post secret.

#3 send secrets to post secret. done.

I was at barns and nobles grabbing "the catcher in the rye" so I can read it and see if I want to kill somebody after, because you know thats how John Lennon was killed. Some guy read that book and went out and killed John. Well after I grabbed the book I asked the lady where the post secret books where and there is like 5 different books. I read two of them and it killed a good amount of time. It's weird to read all these secrets because you know there was pain behind some of them. Some where funny like the one that said he recorded his cat on a mini tape meowing and hid it in the library on play. haha! but some of them where really sad like this girl that slept over her friends house and the kids uncle molested her. I couldn't believe some of them. So last night after reading a few chapters of catcher in the rye which is on my list, I kept thinking about what secret would I tell. I had a few secrets that I haven't told a soul and some secrets that I totally regret telling an old friend that burned out. I swore to myself I would take my secrets to my grave but I really enjoyed getting creative and making my postcards. I would post them but I want my secrets to be secrets and stay anonymous. But I'll show my envelope. I was sitting in my room just thinking of what secrets I would enjoy giving away and I did two of them. I really wanted to do a few more but maybe in a few months I can just let them go. I just need a stamp and my secrets are free.

Everywhere and Nothing.

Okay I can lie and say I was busy and I can lie and say work and school are swallowing me alive, but it's not true. I have just been to lazy to write in my blog. I seriously wish i could just blog from my brain because seriously when I'm at work and just thinking to myself I have such great topics to talk about and it would make your brains processors explode! but yeah I'm a d-bag and do not write down my ideas in my stupid handy dandy book I carry around. Well anyways it has been awhile since I wrote in here. Lets start with my 101 list. I met a celebrity! He is a music celebrity but he soon going to win entertainer of the year! I met Zac Brown from the Zac Brown Band. I actually met everyone that sang that night. The show was super amazing and just really fun! I had never been to a country show and wow is it fun. It's really jam band setting and thats what I love. It was a controlled chaos. They all didnt have back up bands they all just played together. Idk I really enjoy it and I really cant wait til May when we go see little big town, lady A, and Tim McGraw. Okay bringing up that show brings me to the people that are going with us. Okay my bros friend that is a girl is going and she is talking her best friend. Well I got to know both of them on St. Patty's day and I got to "know" her best friends in a personal level. Well that night we danced, flirted, whatever. Well he got a call and said "oh shit my girlfriend is calling" well from then on I was backing off from him but the whore in me wanted him more, so we made an excuse to go outside and me and him where sitting at my truck bed talking and having a really great time. He asked for my number and put his in mine. We where having a great time just us talking and then the phone rang and she was around the corner. So yeah we kinda backed off each other and just acted like we where just talking. She kind of gave me the stare down or whatever but I was like whatever about it. when I left home I was texting him, when I got home I texted him and told him we made it home and that it was really great to meet him blah blah blah well his "gf" text me back asking me all these questions making sure that i knew that he was hers. Okay so that night passed and yesterday was Teo's 22nd birthday and Yaqui called me and was asking me all these questions about the plans and we just started talking about random things and she told me about how "he" felt bad about how his "gf" texted me that night. She went on and started spilling the beans on how the arent even together and that she cant let him go and she still all up on his nuts. So yeah good info :) Dinner was fun and drinks where hilarious. Lore got into the bar and didnt get ID woohoo :) but yeah that was a great night. Well thats that fiasco. Hmmm I'm having brain farts and I cant think of all the millions of little things I wanted to type on here but eh. I guess I'll just have to use my little book to keep my thoughts. But I swear I'll try to blog at least once of week. This really does keep me sane. Oh and I have another thing i can cross off my list is that I recorded video of a vacation and put it to music. My 21st Birthday Extravaganza!   I dont know what number that is but thats another one down :) I thnk I have one more but i cant think off the top of my head. I was Veg for a month and wow that cleaned out my system. If you are down you should do that. But thats really it for right now. Thanks for reading my craziness. peace and goldfish....

Pick up lines...

okay so i think i have time for one more. pick up lines. so the other day in class i was freezing and like i was telling joey i regret rocking shorts today and hes all i like your shorts.... he stumbled for a bit and he said i mean i like wearing shorts. im wearing some now...*awkward scilence* he was like i hope you dont think im a creeper and checking out your shorts.... i just looked at him and was like wtf? it was hilarious but anyways we where talking about pick up lines and he told me one. i'm like a bad joke... you might not like me now, but in a couple of days you will. i was laughing. ive never heard that one before and i thought it was pretty hilarious. another one was i was at work and some touched my ass on accident i held my tounge because i was going to say next time do it harder and say my name. lol well back to work...tell me your pick up lines :)

teasing concentration

okay so i haven't written here in awhile since i'm busy and what not i have tons to tell you like about pick up lines, concentrating faces, my accomplishments on my list, my birthday, and i guess the zac brown concert. oh and st. patty's. I'm kind of teasing you guys right now because i think i only have time to talk about one or two right now. lets talk about peoples concentration faces since i'm at work right now. so ive notice lately that people have some wierd concentration faces. like you dont think about how your face looks when you are working hard on something. watch the next time you take a test look around, you'll probably laugh. i always look pissed off and people tell me why are you so serious? and i'm all im not i just come off that way. but yeah, looks a guys face next time you are doing "it" it will make you smile because you'd think its all pleasure well some guys think
too much during it and that results in some pretty hilarious faces. I'm running out of room so ttyl:)

UGH!

Okay so I haven't written on here in awhile. I've been crazy busy and had no time to breath. I just keep thinking to myself it's going to be worth it at the end. It's my birthday week and I'm totally looking forward to Friday. Well today started off really great. Showered, got ready, the usual. Started my half and hour drive to school and just in my truck and thank. All these empty lots are full of these green grass that have little yellow buds on top. I'm trying to decide if its going to be poppys or just weeds. I really hope they are poppys because man the city will look so beautiful. So I had a midterm this morning about 21 laws of leadership and I was trying to study on the way. I parked and started walking to class. Staring at my phone since I had all the laws typed on my phone (hmmm i wonder why...) but I put my phone in my pocket and walked dazed to class. For some reason I turned my head and glanced at the other walk way, I looked back and then I realized Joey was on the other side (cute kid I gave my number to) I didn't realize it was him but you know when you have that feeling someone is looking at you and when I glanced back he was smiling at me and started waving at me, and I had that odd feeling that he was waving at the person behind me, he wasn't, so I hesitated and waved back, but that little wave made me feel so happy. It's weird when little things make your mood turn. On Tuesday we where talking about our group project and he was mad that we cant choose our own groups. He's like we can't be on the same group, sucks. Aw. I'm going to ask him what he's doing this weekend so maybe he can show me some bars in Bakersfield. 21! this Saturday. Crazy stuff. I feel old. I was talking to a friend and these kids where doing something really lame/stupid and I was like stupid teenagers and then we started talking about it and we aren't teenagers. We are young adults! UGH so bad. Update on my 101 things I havent been on it too much. I have T-Minus 7 days til I can eat meat again :) So excited. haha and 7 days til Zac Brown Band. I way excited. But I really need to get back to my homework. I will post another blog tomorrow if I finish my homework tonight :) I want to talk about things I think about at work. DIRTY. haha

where I come from, rain is a good thing...

I love the rain. This year has been a great year. This last year all the grapes where crappy and some of the ag wasn't as good as years past. Today I was watching the weather channel and now California is only 10% in drought. I love that everywhere is green. I look at the mountains and they are green look down the street and see the hills and they are green. I really do love living in Arvin, we are so close to mountains and they are so beautiful. I really can't wait when the wild flowers start blooming. I'm starting to see poppies off the freeways but I just can't wait for the day that the side of the mountains are purple and orange. Since I'm loving this weather and its raining outside here is a song that explains another reason I love rain, but replace girl with boy :) rain makes corn, corn makes whiskey, whiskey makes my boy feel a little frisky! :) Until next time... modern family.

Scrub Humor...

So I love Scrubs. I love the stupid humor it has. I reminds me of me and my brother. The lame jokes and the funny awkwardness. Anytime I'm able to watch it makes me laugh so much and I seriously share the same humor. Here's a clip that I enjoy watching every time. :)

I use what I got...

So I was driving home and I put my Ipod on random and a Jason Aldean song came on and I'll be the first to say that Jason is my man. All his music has a deep meaning and I can totally relate to all his songs. But this particular song is totally my anthem. This song was about him getting rejected and rejected in Nashville but being persistent and using what he has and never giving up on his dream no matter how many people try to bring him down. I can totally can relate to this song because I take what I can get, like my lame job at ranch market, and give until I don't have nothing left. The constant no's from the small fancy bakeries but thats not going to slow me down because I know in the future I'm going to have the greatest cakes and people are going to come to me. I'm not going to give up on my dream. I'm going to stay persistent and master my craft. I'm going to climb these mountains and break a sweat because at the end it's all going to be worth it. Here are the lyrics to the song. Enjoy :)

Nobody ever thought I'd make it in this town
They all said i should leave my truck, pack, and turn right back around
They said I didn't have what it takes
I needed money and a pretty face
But I just look at them and say...

I use what I got
Take what I get
Give Until I ain't got nothin' left
Then I give it some more
Keep on climbing up that mountain
Keep truckin' along, work up a sweat
Pass every no, after no, after no, till I get a yes
I don't worry about what I'm not
I use what I got, yeah

I still got big dreams and a strong heart
I got a lot of real good friends who helped me get this far
I still got a lot of miles to go
It's a winding, uphill road
But I'll get there the only way I know

chorus 

Keep on rollin' along, doin' my best
Pass every no after no after no til I get a yes
I don't worry about what I'm not
No, no, I don't worry about what I'm not
I use what i got, yeah

up up and away...

 

Today I sent off my balloon with my note! 1 down 100 to go! Well actually I don't know if I can cross off #69, grow my own herbs. They are officially planted and I guess I wont cross it off unless I cook something with them. But today was a great day. I just need to grow some balls and get some courage to ask that kid out to lunch. Today we where joking around the whole time in class and I was like totally going to ask him I even brought up that ihop is giving out free pancakes and that could of moved into lets go after class. but no. Why am I flan! Well I'm going to hopefully trade numbers on thursday. It's my goal. Well I'm making dinner so I need to get back to that. Til then... veggie soup. 

clean room, clean thoughts.

My room is finally clean. Today I was driving home from Costco and lowes buying some stuff for the house and my herb garden! #69 (See pictures) Hold on lets go back to the morning. I sat in my truck waiting for it to warm up and I was trying to decide what I wanted to listen to on my ipod. I sat back and scrolled through the list and couldn't decide. So I went to the song section and just hit random. I really do enjoy all the music on my ipod. Its a wide range of different genres and I enjoy every song. I did not skip any of them and I'm impressed of what music I have collected in the last few years. All day another great song would follow another and a few I've never heard before but enjoyed just as much. Back to my ride back from Lowes and Costco. I was driving down the 223 and I saw two ladies flagging down cars and no one was stopping. In my head I was thinking about how that one time me my mom and a few others where stuck on the side of the freeway down in San Diego and man did that suck. Well I pull over and the lady tells me a story about how her and her friend where on their way back from Anaheim and they ran out of gas and don't have any money to buy more. She was offering to sell me her rings, cell phone, camera, anything of value she had on her. I told her to hold on as I was walking back to the car I knew I only had a twenty in my wallet, I had some other bills but they where hundreds and they where dedicated towards my school payment so I was like whatever I'll give her the twenty it doesn't hurt me and I know God will repay me in the long run twice fold. I gave her the twenty and told her to be safe and God bless. She was so grateful that I gave her that much. She continued telling me that I was the first to stop and they have been waving down cars for an hour. She was insisting that I give her my name and address so she can pay me back and I declined and told her to just make sure they get home safely. I believe that God is testing us everyday to make sure we hold true to what he teaches us. Wouldn't you want someone to help you in your time of need. And I knew it would eat at me if I never stopped, it would be in the back of my mind the whole time wondering. But in other news I plated my herbs today :) woohoo and I'm going to send off my balloon and note today too. Well hoping that Nereo brings my balloon. I have to get some homework done...so till next time... rock music heavy on synth.

Weekend twats.

Weekend tweets. Enjoy.

the rain and wind.

Laying in my bed waiting for the z's to come I feel at peace with myself. My windows are open and I can hear the rain drip off the house and splatter on the ground. The palms blowing in the wind and my mind slowly wondering to a great place. He's been on my mind a lot and hopefully something will come of him on tuesday. It's been a long weekend and work was decent. Now trying to focus on a few things I can accomplish this week. I guess I really didn't realize that I do try to inspire a lot of people, getting them to believe in themselves and to conquer the world. I believe anyone has the power to make their future theirs and do what they want in life. Any goal is reachable as long as you have the mind set that you can accomplish anything. My list isn't hard to accomplish, some will take a lot longer to accomplish due to financial dedication and opportunities to open so I can accomplish them but all in all they will get done. I have a track record of not accomplishing things I have started but my life has totally changed when I completed culinary school. This was one of the first major things I have accomplished in my short life. I have many years (God willing) to come and I want to make the best of them. I happy that little things in life make me happy and I'm not that needy of a person to make anything great. Hearing the wind takes me somewhere I really can't explain but my mind is at ease and finally letting the stress of my weekend work week come to an end and now to focus on school and family. 19 days til the big 21 and how excited I am. Sleep is coming and the pitter patter of the rain is making me dose. Until tomorrow, more like today. Sweet dreams and banana pancakes.

22 hours in...

and I swore. :/ day one starts tomorrow.

kiss of inspiration

Yesterday I mentioned Nereo and I at the park sitting, talking and taking in the view. We had a deep conversation about love. We both witnesses something so moving that it has yet to leave my mind. We where sitting on a bench on the bluffs talking about the river and other things, and at the bluffs, people are always working out since it's such a wonderful view and a great place to run. Well we saw an elderly couple walking and I was commenting on the lady's hair and how it was purple. We where watching them get into the car and the old man opened up the door for the lady and closed it behind her and then he went around got in and they left. I told Nereo at that instant, that's what I want. I want to truly fall in love. I don't want to settle for any old joe, I want to find my true love. I'm not a person to rush for the L word or even into situations that would leave me vulnerable to catch the fever. I always say I have my eye out for some one, but I'm a big game talker. I've seen what rushing into things turns into and you get my parents, two people who really didn't truly know each other but took the dive anyways. It hasn't been roses but yet they made me and my brothers and yet to split. I admire their commitment and how they've made it work but I want something more natural. A couple I look at that always amazes me is a teacher that has became a friend. Her and her husband are really in love and I can see it. I can't wait to see who will make my heart beat faster and slower at the same time, that special someone that just hearing his name makes me skip a breath, all those cheesy things you hear about love. I can't wait, but can. No rush. Update on my list, I started journaling and I have not sworn or eaten meat today, great start and I'm excited. Probably going to read right now waiting for Nereo to come over so we can get this other business done. But until tomorrow... zebra hotpants.

day zero is in 1000 days

My professor said when you write down your goals your more likely to achieve them. So here it is (look at the picture) my wall of inspiration. Today was the first day and it's coming along. Today I was in the BC library and checked out two classic books, Animal Farm and The Old Man and the Sea. I've already started the Old man and the Sea. So thats what I'm working on. I'm starting also #31 no swearing for a week, #2 going veg for a month, #28 write in a journal for a month. This is a serious load, especially swearing but I'm praying to keep strong and accomplish this. We shall see what stays true tomorrow. Until my update tomorrow... journaling.

there is a reason for everything

I have become more aware that God has a purpose for everything he throws your way. People come and go in your life, but the time they are there they make you experience and realize things you'd never experience alone. I have two people that I'm writing about in particular you could probably guess one but the other only one person knows about him. One of the people I'm writing about made me experience little things in life that made me happy and on the other side made me realize how I shouldn't treat people. Me and this particular person where the best of friends and I stuck my reputation out for him for things that I think back on that where mistakes but you know what shit happens. I wouldn't take back all the time I spent with him because there are reasons God put him in my life. The other person is this guy I met online and we started talking. I was deceiving him the whole time we talked which killed me inside and I got what I had coming to me, but with the few weeks he was in my life and even after the fact he inspired me to become a better person. I don't think he'll ever forgive me but maybe one day he will, but the post below was inspired by him. He's a very knowledgeable guy and what I took away from him can only better me. I'm very motivated to my list and it's mostly dedicated to him and myself. Mistakes can set you back unless you learn from them. And you should never take anyone for granted. I had pure poison in my life for awhile but I don't regret it because you need one rainy day to make you appreciate the sunny ones. So that's a little behind my list and my motivation. Until later..... male figure skating.

101 things I want to do in the next 1001 days

I recently met this guy through the internet who is very interesting. He runs his own art blog and he pretty much does this unprofessionally but man does he know a lot. I saw on his site something about doing 101 things in a 1001 days and so I googled it and the project is called the "Day Zero" project. It makes you set goals and a date that you want to accomplish these goals. I decided I was up for the test and so I sat down and thought of 101 things I would like to accomplish in the next 1001 days. So here is my list, when I finish an item I will take a picture and journal it in my log and keep you guys updated :) and here is the website http://www.dayzeroproject.com/user/rachelfosho :)

1

Attend a roller-derby match

2

Go vegetarian for a month   - done!

3

Send a secret to PostSecret   - done!

4

See the Northern Lights

5

Ride in a hot air balloon

6

plant a tree

7

Attend a Murder Mystery

8

Sing karaoke at a bar

9

Donate blood

10

Go camping

11

Get a tattoo

12

Say yes to everything for a day

13

Buy a car

14

Fire a gun

15

Tie a note to a balloon and let it go    - done!

16

Watch the sun rise and set on the same day

17

Complete a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle

18

Have a spa day

19

Visit Niagara Falls

20

Learn CPR

21

Experience a New Year's kiss.

22

adopt a cat

23

Pay for someone else’s food behind me at the drive-thru

24

Learn calligraphy

25

Watch The Godfather

26

go wine tasting in Napa

27

Be more confident

28

keep a journal for a month

29

Learn to speak Italian

30

Visit Nashville

31

Don't swear for a week

32

host a cocktail party

33

learn to knit

34

go on a cruise

35

Read 50 books

36

lose 50 lbs

37

sleep under the stars

38

go on a road trip

39

make sushi

40

dance in the rain

41

Pay off my Visa

42

make my own cheese

43

attend a huge summer concert

44

meet and take a picture with a celebrity   - done!

45

go line dancing at a honkeytonk

46

buy my dad a beer

47

make a video of my vacation and set it to music    - done!

48

learn to play "the final countdown" on the piano

49

learn a song on my acoustic guitar

50

make a 5 course dinner

51

eat at three different celebrity restaurants in Las Vegas

52

Finish my T-shirt quilt

53

Take cupcakes to class    - done!

54

go to disneyworld

55

go to an NFL game

56

paint a canvas painting

57

Attend an Opera

58

make strawberry wine

59

make my own beer

60

learn to ball room dance

61

Visit my friends in the bay area

62

make a cake for each friends birthday

63

sleep on the beach

64

go boating and bump "I'm on a boat"

65

Leave an inspirational note on someone's car

66

teach my best friend how to drive

67

go on a true date

68

go to the annual fireman auction

69

grow my own herbs    - done!

70

ride the amtrack to NorCal

71

Visit the south

72

attend a laker game

73

party in mexico

74

Read the bible

75

expand my vocabulary

76

learn 5 different origami folds

77

Purchase a cook book and cook everything in it

78

Meditate 2 times a week for a month

79

Learn to make 9 mixed drinks and one signature drink

80

Play a round of golf

81

write a rough draft of my movie "the year of 4"

82

take pin up pictures

83

Go 5 days without my computer

84

watch 10 classic movies

85

Attend 5 different museums

86

Visit the San Diego Zoo

87

Make a font of my handwriting

88

make an awesome bonfire

89

attend 10 concerts

90

Watch the rocky horror picture show

91

purchase a coloring book and have all my friends color in it

92

visit Forks, WA

93

have a candle light dinner

94

create a photo journal for a week

95

attend a killers concert

96

Go to 5 different clubs in Las Vegas

97

Send christmas cards that I designed

98

write a children's book about chuck and bruiser

99

get my palm read

100

go to a comedy club

101

attend a taping for a TV show