peaks and valleys

Hello old friend. It has been a very long time since we've talked. How are you? Well it has been ages since I've written in this thing and life has changed as much as it would in a 5 month period. Family life is iffy and my personal life is non existent due to work, but all in all everything is good. It's winter time and I honestly cant believe what our Christmas' are boiling down to. These are the weird years I'm guessing and I think it's about time to start having Christmas' abroad. None of us have kids to buy presents for and none of us really know what to give each other nowadays. Maybe a destination Christmas is what we need. What do people do for Christmas? I know most spend it around family and loved ones but it seems anytime we get down to this season our family gets busier and busier with other things, especially this year I was already over Christmas before it even it even got here. I really hate that. I use to look forward to Christmas so much as a kid and now it seems like every other holiday. There needs to be a shake up in my life or in our lives. We all complain about the lack of adventure we all have, mostly as a family because all of us kids do what we want and have our adventures but honestly we haven't had a great family vacation. I feel like we need a retreat to move forward in our lives, new memories to make and new experiences that will make our lives richer. We want to do this but it's so hard with all our schedules to find time for it because ever since we where younger we never did anything without the other. I love my brothers and I love the times I spend with them. Sometimes I wish the time we spend together are a bit more productive but I honestly love them. We've gone through shitty times and hopefully this valley can soon climb up to a peak again and get us back to where I love us to be. Happy. I'm really glad to talk to you old friend, you always make me feel better and hopefully now I can write in you more often but who knows. Until we cross paths again.... hope.

drop top

So I've been lost for the last few weeks and I always say I'm going to try harder to keep up with my blog. But lets face it I may be addicted to my computer but not really addicted to work. haha But anyways it has been awhile since I've shared my thoughts on different things and there are tooo many things to bring up and explain without this being a novel. People are entering my life and leaving it as if it was a supermarket. Some I could care less for and other I do truly miss. But if you are reading this and thinking any of this is about you, you are vain as fuck. Anyways, I've have a lot of time to just sit around and think, maybe it be while I'm washing my car or working, nothing lately has needed any brain power to actually do so my mind wonders and starts thinking about all these different things. Am I wasting my life staying here in Arvin not exploring more of the world or even trying to move on.... Was my car the greatest choice for right now.... Do I really want to go to Italy or is it just for him.... My life is very secretive and yet open. I post like any other young adult what I'm constantly doing on the social networks and not really leaving anything for mystery... or am I? Last night after have a weird and awkward conversation with a friends coworker that I'm kinda going after but reconsidering... I don't know what to think about people addicted to drugs. Some seem so normal but when they flip over to their other side man its like day and night. But anyways when more develops I'll let you know. But after that I put down my rag top and drove home. It was a clear night the wind was blowing earlier so it cleared out all the smog. Moon wasn't out yet but all i could see is stars. I'm a big sucker for two things: acoustic guitars and midnight drives. Feeling the wind in my hair and feeling the cool air, looking up at the stars it was pretty magical. I love these kind of nights where the heat is gone and its peaceful. But now to finishing what I really need to do. Til next time........... italian stallion.

depression.

sweeeeeeeet depression. how we've not crossed paths in awhile. hello friend. welcome back. this occassion is brought on by work. thank you for bring something back that i have not missed. yes, i have been feeling him coming for a few weeks now slowly slowy making it apparent you are here. i guess we rushed arrival today by hearing some news i was not really ready for. i thought he had my back and im a great enough worker to recieve what i deserve......but, i guess not. no vegas weekend for me. no drinks by the pool, no family fun, no gambling, no shopping, no nothing... just when i was going to lose your number change addresses everything fails and you come back to me. depression. hopefully something will get me out of this beginning summer funk. maybe a new job is in order. whatever. i guess ill just sit here and see whats new with you. til pigs fly........ fosho.

Lazy Bones

So lately I've been saying I have no time to myself when I actually do have tons of time to myself. Yesterday I was suppose to work, I didn't know, they called me a few times then I decided to pick up the phone and they told me to come in. Well I told her my situation about how the carpet guy was coming and I really couldn't go in, so yeah I had the day off. Yesterday was my catch up on me day. I plucked my eye brows painted my nails, dyed my streak red again after it was orange for like weeks, clipped my nails etc. little things that take time to do and you usually put it off until you can actually take the time and do them. My eyebrows where scary, and it was only realized when i finished one and looked at the other, plus all the stray hairs on my shirt after just finishing one. Anyways it was great just being around myself. I got ready for a concert me and my brothers friends where going to and I took my time thinking this kid I had a night with was going but ended up being some other friend so yeah it was kind of lame but the concert was great. Today and Tomorrow are my days off and I'm going to do a few productive things like teach my best friend how to drive because honestly its about time she knows, prep for my weekend deliveries since I have one huge order and a really tiny one haha :) finish cleaning my room which keeps getting pushed back since its really never on the top of my priority list. I really need to hit the gym since my lazy bones hasn't made an appearance there in over two weeks because of Lore F's parents being out of town and us having fun and doing random crap but we need to buckle down and get back at it! The concert last night put me up at 4 concerts down on my 101 list which is great. Tim McGraw is excellent live and you really should go see him if you have a chance. I'm leaving you with videos of the bands a I saw yesterday enjoy :) until next time..... nice windy blue sky day.

Love and Theft - Opening Act

Lady A - Opening for Tim

Tim McGraw - Headliner 

cyclistic sleeping

so i've read different methods of sleeping and many people just do the 8 hours at night like normal mammals but I'm trying this other approach. cycle sleeping. you sleep a total of 8 hours but you only sleep 4 hours at a time. this method will hopefully let me have a night life again since i feel rested and i actually feel modivated. no matter how long you sleep it always takes a long time to get out of bed so i wont count that against my cycle. but i do feel modivated and actually productive which i already have said before. hopefully i keep at this. i have to work at 4am tomorrow since we are making gelatin for the week and ive yet to make it since ive been here. fun times. i still have a lot of work to do but its going fast. my brother is a being an ass because he wont bring me my stereo but eh... ill just keep singing alejandro :) hopfully we go to the gym today and catch up a bit.
okay break almost over, til the next.... double raised donuts.

subway inspiration

so I'm sitting here hanging out at lore's subway waiting for her to get off so maybe we can do something tonight and like i hate the fact i have money now and i dont have time to go out :( I work early as hell and that means im dead tired by 9! but hopefully i can get use to this cycle sleeping and ill be more productive and be able to do more things. ive been wanting to go drinking and partying for awhile. im a brand new 21 year old i need my fix! haha well hopefully me working these all these hours for the summer will pay off some how. I'm planning on buying a car since i will have some more income that im use to coming in so might as well put it towards something ive been wanting :) so im getting my sky roadster! im talking to the guy again and hopefully i will be able to see it soon. just need to find financing. but i will have a two seater convertable speed machine :) so yeah i
cant wait! me and lore i think are just going to get 40's and sit outside since it such a great night :)

Backyard Vacation, Perverted Vocalization

So I've recently fallen in love with my backyard again. My dad made a new patio and bought some furniture for it and it's been my favorite place to hang out. Right now the weather is really great slight breezes and the warm sun. UGH i love spring and summer. I really can't wait til its warm enough so we can go swimming and I can get fricken dark. I swear it's weird to think that some people really think I'm white. I don't have a hispanic accent which is usually a dead give away but I really don't understand how people really think I'm white. I have a weird vocabulary like the words I choose to use like: sweet sauce, weak, trick, etc... but I don't think that should have any deciding factors on my race. eh. whatevs. Here is an example my brothers and I went out to a hookah lounge with a bunch of friends. Well my friend yaqui brought a friend that was very "sweet" (as my professor would say) and for you idiots out there, gay. Well I fell in love with him because I really like gay guys and I love talking dirty with them about other dudes. And If you don't know me I'm a real perv, and I swear I get it from my mom because she's really bad too. And I really don't realize who I'm talking dirty in front of and, yeah... my brothers are convince I'm a huge slut, but my business is my business so whatevs. ANYWHO, me and this kid kept talking and talking I swear we where the only ones talking since everyone was super quiet and uncomfortable because that kid was "sweet" but yeah, we got to the end of this get together because me and my crew where ready to leave and the guy comes and give us a check and he's all give it to the mexican and I was like I'm hispanic too... He like REALLY? I really dont think it was that hard to not tell I'm not hispanic. But eh... Thats how I roll.  Summer is going to be great. Can't wait for my last final to roll around and I can start singing, School's out for summa! haha. I need to get my life organized and put my business on my top proirities this summer because seriously I feel I'm going to lose out if I dont get my life situated. So now to clean my room! Til the next post... nail clippings.

-fo sho